I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
