Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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