the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
