No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
