I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Randomize
