He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
