He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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