I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
