did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize