I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
