We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
