I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
