were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
