that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
