your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
