Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
