just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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