I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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