I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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