Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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