Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
