We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
