Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
