He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
