So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Let's get the cat blown out
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize