my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
