Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
