2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
