i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
