i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
