I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
