i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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