Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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