she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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