I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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