I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
