how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
