She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
