fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He better not be in your backpack
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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