they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
