I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
