dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
When are your genitals available?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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