So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
