so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
