you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
