tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize