um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
