i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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