she was so not down for the gang bang
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
