I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
