Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
did i just pee glitter
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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