Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
