nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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