I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
should my penis look like a turkey
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize