she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
