do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
