he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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