I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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