Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
