and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
