my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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