Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
