So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
