just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
