No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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