she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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