Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
