listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
