Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
a search helicopter?!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
